Gavin is married to a wonderful woman, "Evie," who is also a friend of mine. Until recently, Gavin and Evie took frequent trips on his touring motorcycle. But because of a physical disability, Evie can no longer ride with him.
Gavin's police department recently held a charity motorcycle ride to a state landmark two hours away. Evie suggested I might enjoy going along and experiencing what a ride is like. I did, and had a wonderful time.
Since then, I have learned that several people have been spreading rumors that Gavin and I are having an affair because I was seen on the motorcycle with him. Evie says not to worry about it, but my feelings are hurt, and I feel my reputation is being tarnished. Why can't friends go on a motorcycle trip without rumors being spread? And how do I handle this? -- UNEASY RIDER IN MYRTLE BEACH
DEAR UNEASY: In a community where small minds dwell, there is always a rumor mill and gossips who make assumptions about things they know nothing about. How to handle it? Hold your head high and ignore it.
DEAR MYRTLE:
You know... i think Kelis said it all.
DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old granddaughter has posed a question that stumped me, and I hope you can help with an answer: Why be neat and well-groomed?
She doesn't care what people think of how she looks. She sees no problem wearing clothes that are torn, etc. I am concerned that by the time she reaches adolescence she won't care how she looks when she leaves the house.
Her hair is extremely curly. It can't be combed or it gets wilder and frizzier, which adds to her unkempt appearance. Her hair may improve as she gets older if she's motivated to spend the extra time.
I am challenged by her question. How can I answer her? -- LOST FOR WORDS IN FLORIDA
DEAR LOST FOR WORDS: Please stop trying to have an adult conversation with an 8-year-old. Where is this child's mother? Why is she permitted to go around in "torn, etc." clothing? It's time to talk to your son or daughter about helping their child with her grooming. The way your granddaughter looks is not only a reflection on herself, but also the adults whose responsibility it is to care for her. While she may not care how she looks, her parents should.
DEAR OLD BITTY: OK, Abbs breezed right over this but i'm gonna get into it because its the first thing that really caught my eye. Did you really just say that your granddaughter's curly hair adds to her "unkempt appearance"? What the fuck? Her hair is as it is and letting it exist in it's natural state doesn't make her look filthy you outdated cow, it makes her look like her. You can't make her feel bad about the way she is, it's a shit thing to do.
Next, why the fuck don't you have answer to this? How old are you? Really you don't know why people shouldn't look like vagrants? Fine, Abbs won't handle you, but thats why I'm here. we bathe ourselves and dress like we have some class so that people won't judge us... or actually so that people do judge us. I take what i hope is a healthy interest in my appearance and I do so so that when bitches look at me they know i'm better than them. this 8 yr old may not care now but wait till her classmates call her uncoordinated, classless and dirty. bet she'll give a shit then.
and i have to agree with miss A.B., where is this girls mama? because its true, her appearance at this stage in her life has a lot to do with how people judge YOU. and you should tell her. be like 'if you look like an extra from Newsies, the gramms gets people laughing at her, you don't want that do you?' Guilt is perfectly acceptable in this situation, in fact its mandatory. When are you going to learn? She's a child, she has no rights! You're old as fuck and what you say goes and frankly, asking her not to wear ripped clothes isn't the most unreasonable request. get that bitch in line! then get her into the shower, i can smell that shit from here.
DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a guy, "Casey," for three years. I have two children by another man, and Casey took them on as if they were his. They even call him "Daddy." I'm grateful I have someone who takes such good care of my kids. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him.
There's just one problem. Casey has a hard time keeping a job. He has had more than a dozen jobs during the last three years. The only income we have is mine, and it's not very much. We struggle quite a bit, and we fight about money. Things would be better if Casey would get a job and keep it, but I can't get him to understand that. Sometimes I feel like he's using me.
I want to stay with Casey, but now and then I also think I'd be better off if I left him. What can I do to make him understand that he needs to keep a job? Or, because I love him, should I stand beside him no matter what? -- BREADWINNER IN OHIO
DEAR BREADWINNER: If Casey doesn't understand after three years that you need an equal partner in the relationship, I doubt you'll ever get that message through to him. As it stands, you appear to have a live-in baby sitter "with benefits." Add to that the fact that on some level you sense you are being used and would be better off without him, and I conclude that day care would not only be less expensive, it would also provide you a chance to meet a man who's willing to pull his own weight. Right now it appears you have three dependents.
DEAR CRUMBELLINA: Yeah... i'm conflicted. I mean on the one hand, if you feel not good about a relationship and you've exhausted your options in fixing it you should ditch the bitch. On the other hand, if after three years you're still with him he must be crazy sexy and good in the sack. Lazy no-accounts are always so fucking sexy.
i think in the end i'd have to say... give it one more go (as liz lemon says: 'talk it out, before you walk it out'. she's my advice icon. people with fucked up lives give the best advice! ex A: me!). impress upon him how important it is that he get (and keep!) a job. i know you like him, but this is ridiculous. He's a grown fucking man, get a fucking job! There are babies involved and they deserve better than his bullshit. and you know what? if he can't get it together. i'm sure i could recommend some fantastic vibrating replacements for his lazy ass.
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I both work two jobs, and we have raised three wonderful children. Over the years we have watched our friends build bigger and bigger homes, drive fancy cars and take extended trips to exotic locations while my husband and I work paycheck to paycheck.
What bothers me is that many of my girlfriends were "gold diggers" who stole wealthy men from other women, and some of the men seem to make money by doing illegal things. They're all living high on the hog while I dodge bill collectors.
I thought I was making good decisions and being morally responsible, but apparently the "nice guy/nice gal comes in last." When do these people get what's coming to them, and when do I get a break? -- NICE GAL IN OHIO
DEAR NICE GAL: How about starting right now? Start by shedding those people from your life whom you find morally reprehensible and look for some whose values more closely resemble your own. And instead of obsessing about others "getting what's coming to them," concentrate on improving your own life.
If you're dodging bill collectors, find a credit counseling agency to help you deal with them. It won't happen overnight, but things will improve as you get your financial life in order. Find a credit counseling agency that is approved by your Better Business Bureau or affiliated with the National Foundation for Credit Counseling or the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies.
DEAR POBRECITA: Yeah that whole last paragraph was crazy useless, huh. Here's the deal, girl. Don't go to jail. What you need is a job with some growth potential. If you don't see yourself runnin shit within 5 years, thats a job you don't need. You need something where you can progress, no more dead end shit. Paycheck to paycheck is no fucking game and with babies too? not alright. As a favorite group of mine once said: 'if your job aint payin right, shut it down". As far as the gold diggin bitches and them drug dealers, I refer you to the video by kelis above. Thats not your life, and thats because thats not who you are and thats alright. You ahve to be true to you, and I'm willing to bet in your time, you had some gold digging opportunities and you chose a different life for yourself, love that! Own it and love it because thats who you are. It's time to stop thinking bout them ho's and thinking about your children's college funds. So dust off that resume and get a pantsuit from TJ Maxx, it's time to hit the interview circuit.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
I'm gonna stick to my guide on vibrators with testimonials included. maybe one day, me and Abbs will be close enough friendos that we can do a two for one! here's hoping! xoxo, gossip girl
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